Wednesday 30 March 2011

"The right thing to do"

i had a dream..we were getting married soon, mom agreed and my friends were all busy and enthusiastic about helping me with the wedding..but it seems that i'm the most reluctant person in that situation..i was worried, freaked out a lil, well, quite a lot in fact, thinking had i lose my mind to have made such huge lifetime decision? i wasn't prepared at all..it definitely mean something doesn't it? i've had this thought that things might be sweet like in those romantic korean dramas where really young couples get married, they get to grow up with the people they love! wonderful isn't it? but in that dream, i realised, no..its not at all what i want..i'm not sure of the reason; whether its because i'm not convinced if he's the right guy to spend my life with, or its because i'm afraid i might lose my freedom, my youth etc..well, he made me cry tonight..thats the main reason why i'm writing this..i used to be very sure that he's definitely the right guy, but things changed..from 99%, it dropped all the way till i'm not sure how low, but it's definitely really low that i'm kinda sure that things aren't going to work out smoothly between us in the long run..the thing is, i'm starting to think that breaking up is actually the right thing to do, but i'm not doing it, i'm ignoring that thought, but it comes back everytime he does something wrong because it reminds me of the 'right thing to do'...breaking up needs strong will, effort and courage..i used to salute people who stays in a long term relationship, but i think now i have to salute people who had guts to walk out of it even more...

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