my first blog entry

I feel like writing today..reason? i've been doing a lot of talking and yet things aren't solved yet..i feel that things are all messed up and it takes a lot of time and effort to actually put them back in place..perhaps fast paced life like this just doesn't suit me? i don't know..its just that yesterday when i was walking very slowly in the dark with a lighted candle..i felt calm..i felt that it reminds me that at times we just need to slow down a little in life..its been so long since i last walked that slow, having practically nothing in mind to think about..but how long do i get to slow down like that? i have so much to do that i'm not even sure if i can manage to get everything done in time if i start now, at this very moment and to go on non-stop till the very end..and mum..she appears rather emotinal to me..i mean, i'm a bit emotinally drained myself..i wish i have the time to keep her accompanied..i wish i have the strength to supprt her emotionally..and i wish to let her know what i'm feeling right now..but i just couldn't do that, could i? i'm going home next tuesday, but i'm starting to regret it...and yes..i regret making the decision to go home.